


A funny thing happened while hiking in the woods

by Tezca



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tezca/pseuds/Tezca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I got inspired to write Tony's reaction to Loki having sex with a rock after reading StarkRogers's fic here http://archiveofourown.org/works/564996</p><p>Go read her fic, it is funny and awesome.</p>
    </blockquote>





	A funny thing happened while hiking in the woods

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired to write Tony's reaction to Loki having sex with a rock after reading StarkRogers's fic here http://archiveofourown.org/works/564996
> 
> Go read her fic, it is funny and awesome.

It all started as a little day off for Tony, talking a much needed walk in the woods. Wait why would someone like Tony, be taking a walk in the woods you may be asking? Well the answer is because of his boyfriend Steve, he thought Tony has been working too much in his workshop and needed some fresh air. So reluctantly agreed because, well he loved Steve, and he wanted to make him happy.

Steve told him it would relax him, clear his mind. Tony scoffed and shot one of his usual witty remarks, but Steve promised him to just take a walk for at least a hour, telling him that he might feel energizer to go back to working on the latest model of the suit.

So that what Tony is doing, walking up a little hiking trail that Steve recommended. Easy trail, not to steep, the kind for beginners. He was only 20 minutes in when he started feeling bored and oh fucking god his legs were getting tired, but on the other hand he didn’t want to piss off Steve. He stood there contemplating his choices when he heard it.

A moaning sound. Not to far from up ahead, at first he though somebody was moaning in pain so he started to run to the source but he stopped. He listened more closely and realized just what kind of moaning it was. Someone was having sex with someone out here in the woods.

Now Tony, being a man of sexual prowess and one with kinky tendencies, got a little curious. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt the one guy that loved him fully for the first time in years, but he couldn’t resist just a tiny voyeuristic look. Besides he’ll be careful not to get noticed, Natasha and Clint never found him in the closet that one time. That was a miracle and a half that they didn’t found out and maimed him apart on the spot.

He didn’t even mean to stumble into their room! He though it was his, honest mistake really and well to be fair he was drunk that night.

So Tony did like anyone like him would do, he crept up closer, making dead sure not to make any noise as he hid between tree after tree. The moaning sounds were becoming louder.

He then noticed a boulder was in his way, but it was alright since he surmised the noises were coming from the other side so he got down on his knees and hid behind the big rock. He then peered ever so carefully from the edge of the rock and noticed a familiar boot, a familiar looking boot.

He then moved to look over the top and saw the recognizable slick, black hair.

Loki.

Tony just wanted to bolt out of the right then and there due to well him primarily being one of the enemies and Tony doesn’t feel right seeing their enemy naked, but Tony was now curious as to who, or what is he fucking. He heard those stories from Thor.

Tony was not prepared to see what exactly Loki was screwing, he looked up over the top even further, still hoping that the god didn’t see him and saw what Loki had his penis up against.

“Oh, my fucking god almighty…” Tony thought as he saw Loki rubbing up against a rock. A piece of igneous rock, mostly likely from a lava flow to be exact. How Tony knew this, well Bruce needed up with a presentation he was invited to do at a seminar one time.

Tony blinked his eyes as to maybe this was a weird dream he was having, but nope it wasn’t. Loki was having sex out in broad daylight, with a fucking rock.

Tony just stayed in the position for a few seconds, just watching the too surreal scene out in front of him. A minute passed before getting the urge to just burst out laughing, but doing so would reveal his presence and therefore jeopardize him and possibly the whole team.

So he did the next best thing, sitting back down and covering his mouth, laughing to himself. Oh this has to be recorded for all of eternity he decided, yes he knew he would get his ass ripped to shreds if Loki were to find out, but this was something that had to be, without a doubt, recorded so everyone can mock and laugh a Loki for all of the rest of humanity’s lifetime.

So with that, Tony got out his phone and softly told Jarvis to record and upload it to Youtube after he was done. He had to cover his mouth with his free hand however, as he didn’t want to let a sound out and ruin this glorious new revelation about everyone favorite misunderstood frost giant.

After 10 minutes, he was done as signaled by the fact that Loki was now slumped over the rock, exhausted from the experience. Tony then quietly walked back a few feet before turning and making a run back to Avengers HQ.

He only got about halfway though as he needed to breath. He then looked at his phone at the newly uploaded video and starting laughing once again.

He didn’t get a chance to watch it completely though as he then suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of a pissed off Loki yelling. “Anthony Edward Stark! I am going to hurt you in ways you never though possible for any mortal mind!”

With that Tony then bolted with Loki chasing after him.


End file.
